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Most of us know Jeff Foxworthy’s classic one liners of “You might be a redneck.” Today, I would like to take a minute and share some observations that I have come up with or have heard in my travels that can confirm whether or not you are a poker junkie.

Our Father Who Art in Poker Heaven - Doyle Be Thy Name

If someone mentions The Bible, and you think of Super System, you might be a poker junkie.

If the decision between playing poker or having sex has ever taken you more than 3 seconds, you might be a poker junkie.

If the floorman can enter YOUR player’s card number from memory, you might be a poker junkie.

To go with that, if the porter’s (or cocktail waitress) brings you your standard drink before you have bought in for the game, you might be a poker junkie.

If you troll the 2-4 Limit or 3-6 Limit games looking for a date, you might be a poker junkie.

If you regularly use the phrases “number one” and “number two” without referencing a restroom, you might be a poker junkie.

If you have ever told someone that you “were coolered” and someone asks you “what brand”, you might be a poker junkie.

If you “had a wrap” but did not eat it…you might be a poker junkie.

and Finally,

If you think Phil Hellmuth wearing a Caesar outfit into the WSOP Main Event was “cool”, you might be a little touched in the head….I mean a poker junkie.